The Love of God...

God is so faithful.

The way He loves me--so tenderly--is far more than I can understand.  He is so beautiful.  And just. And He continues to pour out so much grace, because I can never get enough of it.

The last four years have been a challenge for my faith.  The questions. The quiet.  The wondering...What is God's plan?  What is He piecing together in the spiritual realm to answer this ragged heart's cry of the physical realm?  Does He really love me?  

There have been moments where I have felt so far from the warmth of God.  His comfort.  And, although I never doubted His presence, I doubted His love for me. His plan for me.  I desperately wanted to feel close to God again.  To feel like I was walking hand in hand with Him, instead of running the opposite direction in fear.  And I wondered why I just couldn't seem to get there, to get to that place again where it was just me and God, me and the One who stitched together this heart of mine, and who is the only One who can heal the scars.

I have been in this place for far too long.  The place where the doubt runs deep, and seeps into every waking thought.  I keep trying to fight the supernatural with logic.  But God, He isn't logical.  He is miraculous.  And full of surprises.  And so full of love for this doubting heart.  

For a long time, I stopped praying for the longings of my heart, because it hurt everytime I tried to mutter the words.  But I have started talking to God again.  And He has been so faithful to listen with the most tenderness and patience.  And I can't feel anything but gracious.  Because He always welcomes us back to Him without judgement, or anger, and with His arms wide open.  

I feel like I am starting to understand His love again.  I have never felt it more.  And never needed it more than I do right now.  God knows every part of me.  He knows my heart, and He loves it.  This year I am letting God fight my battles.  I am stepping back, being still, and letting Him fight for me.  My hope will always be in Him, and I pray that I never lose sight of the fact that hoping is not in vain.  The prayers, the tears, none of it is in vain.  

As 2016 approaches, I pray you will all deeply know the love of God.  That is will fill you, and grow you, and seep out of you.  

Be blessed.

Unhindered Joy...

"Joy is untouched by circumstance." -- Unknown

God has given us a spirit of joy.  It fills our hearts and souls.  It fills our lives.  There is no denying that we are called to live joy-filled lives.

I have always been a joyful, "cup half-full" kind of girl.  But when the realness and struggles of life start to creep in, I have felt that joy being stripped away.  More often than not, I have allowed hurt and bitterness to overtake the joy that I had. Instead of joy overflowing out of my life, bitterness and hurt overflowed. And as a result, it effected every other part of my life.  My relationships, my self-confidence, my faith.  And really the list wouldn't stop there. 

How often do we let other feelings like bitterness, or anger, or fear jump into our lives, pushing out the joy residing in our hearts? 

God has been showing me that this happens only when we allow it to. Ouch.

We all, at some point or another, have felt feelings of hurt, fear, anxiousness, etc.--but if we choose joy, those feelings quickly diminish.  When we focus on where our joy comes from, a God who created us and loves us despite our filthiness, then it is much easier to embrace joy.  I have seen it happen in my own life. 

All that being said, I thought I would share some of the things that bring me joy in life...the big and the small...

*Christ's sacrifice

*God's unwavering love for me

*The faith of children

*An amazing sunset

*Friendships that you know are God-ordained

*A nice, cold Diet Coke (hey, I said big things and small things)

*Snuggling with my puppy

*Pouring my heart out to God and knowing that He cares, even when it feels no one else does

*Sweet, innocent babies :)

*Hanging out with my nephew and niece

*Seeing a prayer answered

*Seeing the people I love happy

I could go on and on because, despite those things in my life that seem "bad,"  the things that bring me joy far outnumber them.

So, for today, I am choosing to have unhindered, unshaken joy. 

Be blessed!
Jenn