When You Choose Joy...

I think we can all agree that this life is not always rainbows and butterflies.  Life is hard.  It is full of new challenges every single day.  And sometimes, those challenges can give you jaded vision. Sometimes those challenges can lead you down a path that takes you to a place you would rather not be. And one day you wake up and wonder how you even got to that place. 

I can testify this from experience.  I mentioned in my last post that I had gotten to one of those "something's gotta give" places.  I got to a point where I decided I could either be miserable or I could CHOOSE joy.  I could CHOOSE Jesus.

It isn't always easy, friends.  And I hate to admit that.   I know, deep down, that I will always choose Jesus--but that means letting go.  I am not good at that.  It's hard to let go of the hurts, and the confusion, and the questions.  It is hard to let go of expectations and feelings of inadequacy.  But what I realize, time and time and time again, is that when I do--things become clearer.  My spirit longs for Jesus again.  My heart trusts.  Those things that seem unbearable suddenly are healed.  Those things that seem impossible, become possible again.  And you cannot help but be joyful.

By choosing joy again, my life has been changing.  In a REALLY GOOD WAY.  I find myself desiring Jesus more and more.  Craving my time with Him.  I find myself praying that I will allow Him to satisfy my soul.  That my joy will come solely from knowing that HE LOVES ME.  He loves my heart.  And the relationship I have with Him is the most sacred relationship that I could ever have--and it's just between me and Him.   And it doesn't have to look a certain way.  My relationship with Jesus doesn't have to look just like hers...or his...or theirs...no, it is mine.  I have focused my eyes back on what is really important.  And I pray from the depths of my heart, that my eyes will stay fixed on Jesus.  And when those trials come again (and we all know they will) that instead of turning to the right or the left and seeing trial after trial--I will only see Jesus.

So, choose joy, friends.  I had a dear friend tell me that you may have to make that choice every day...or every hour...or every minute.  But always choose joy.

Be Blessed!

Time for a "Catch Up" Blog

Wow.  It has been a long time since I last blogged.  Life has been full of changes, events, and just a whole lot of busyness.  I figured I would write a quick blog to catch up on what has been going on--list style of course!

• I started teaching again this year.  Kindergarten.  I forgot how much energy those little munchkins have!  It has been absolutely crazy, challenging, stressful--but so incredibly rewarding and beautiful at the same time.  I knew from the beginning that me getting this job was no coincidence.  The way that GOD worked it all out--was nothing of my own doing.  And there are days where I have to remind myself that He has equipped me to work with these kids.  I have already come to love them like they were my own.  Everyday their hugs and "I love yous" make all the tough days worth it! I think it has filled a void in my heart, for now, and I am thankful for that.

• My sweet sister got married a week ago.  It was so incredibly beautiful!   She was beautiful.  The whole thing...just beautiful!  It was so much fun being able to catch up with family and friends and to get away for a weekend!  I made it through my responsibilities of singing during the ceremony and giving a toast without completely bursting into tears.  I consider that a huge accomplishment!  And I realized that my hubby has some killer moves on the dance floor :)

• Now for a bit of honesty...I think that I came to one of those "rock bottom" places in life over the last several months.  I slipped into a place that was full of sadness, hopelessness, and even some bitterness.  I didn't want to see friends.  I didn't want to do anything but sleep. I definitely did not feel close to God.  And I felt like I was losing my mind. I finally reached a place where I realized that I was just letting Satan win.  I was basically handing my joy right over to him without a fight.  I think in life we can probably say that we all get tired of fighting sometimes.  Just plain worn out.  Especially when it seems like things are never going to get better.  But friends, we have to just keep fighting, and we don't have to do it alone.  I finally broke down one day, and begged the Lord to heal my heart and to fill me with hope again.  And, long story short, He was faithful to answer me.  For the first time in a really long time, I feel peace.  Peace with where God has placed me right now.  And instead of asking "why?" over and over, I am trusting that He knows what He is doing.  It is pretty apparent to me that when I try to do it by myself, I fail.  EVERY TIME.

• I desperately desire more Jesus.  And in the craziness that is my life right now, I am learning how important it is to make time for just being still and spending time with Him.

• I am pretty sure I have the Christmas bug...and pretty sure I am going to start decorating next weekend.  Before Thanksgiving {GASP!}.   I love this time of the year.  And for the last two years, David and I didn't get to decorate because we were moving--so I plan to do it big this year!

• On the health side of life--I have been sick, alot.  Nothing horrible, just enough to make me feel miserable.  On top of that, I have lost ten pounds since I started teaching.  I mean, I am not going to say that I don't like losing ten pounds, but I don't like losing it because of stress and unhealthy eating habits.  So, all that to say, I could use your prayers.  I desperately need to get better at taking care of my body--eating healthier and exercising.  I know I would feel a lot better :)

Well, I think that is all for now :)  Or at least all I can think of.  Until next time...(and hopefully it won't be three months!)

Be blessed!