The Art of Letting Go...

I don't think that it is any coincidence that my devotion this morning started out with these words in big, bold letters:

THIS IS A TIME IN YOUR LIFE WHEN YOU MUST LEARN TO LET GO: of loved ones, of possessions, of control.  In order to let go of something that is precious to you, you need to rest in my Presence, where you are complete.                                                          {Jesus Calling, Sarah Young}

Letting things go is not something that comes naturally to me.  Not in the least bit.  It is something that has to be learned.  Something that has to be practiced over and over again.  There have been a lot of things floating around this brain of mine lately.  The kind of things that wake you up in the middle of the night, and don't let you go back to sleep. The kinds of things that seem to seep into your dreams.

I am opening myself up to Jesus.  Because the truth is-- I have no answers to any of the questions in my head.  All I have is His word, and I have to trust what it says.  I have felt so conflicted in my spirit--wondering which way to go--wondering what the next step is going to be--wondering if I even have the strength to take a step in the first place.  My feet have been cemented to the ground for so long.  I am just so ready to move.  To move to a more beautiful, fulfilling place in life.  Jesus is already offering that me--I just have to take it.  I have to muster up the courage to step out in faith, to trust Him with the most important things in my life. 

I have been praying that the Lord would speak to me.   And He has been.

I felt Him saying so clearly to me, "Start writing things down.  Write down the small things, and the great.  Write down your fears, your triumphs, your questions.  Write them down because you ARE going to see my faithfulness.  I want you to have an account of my goodness. I want you to be able to see how I am working."

So, that's exactly what I have started doing.  I have been writing to Jesus.  And being more open and honest than I ever have been.  So often it is easy to hide.  To hide behind smiles or closed doors.  To hide what's really hurting you because it may not seem "Christian-like" to have feelings of confusion or doubt--or even anger.  Writing has been therapeutic in a way.  Sometimes no one really understands and it can leave you feeling so. so. alone--but Jesus always does.  He knows the deepest crevices of my heart.  And somehow, He loves me.

He has always been faithful to me.  And that isn't going to stop.  So, here's to practicing the art of letting go--to moving into grace and joy--and to letting Jesus be enough.

Be blessed, friends!

 

Oh, Soul...

"Soul, why are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me?"- Psalm 42:5

David's words from Psalm 42 have been echoing in my mind the last few days.  And I find that I am uttering very similar words to my own soul.

Soul, why can't you snap out of it?

Soul, why are you so worried?

Soul, why are you so disheartened?

Soul, why do you feel so hopeless?

Soul, when will you rejoice again?  WHEN?

I know I often blog about this dry, desert season I am in.  And if you read, you may be thinking to yourself..."this season is never ending,"  and the truth is, it feels that way most of the time.  The honest truth is that there are days when I feel like the Lord has forgotten all about me. Prayers all around me are being answered, but my prayers are exhausted and hard to speak.  There are more days than not that I feel like I am blindly walking through this life, just holding on to that last bit of hope with all of my might.

The Lord has been very quiet in this season of life.  And I am desperately longing for His voice.  For just an "It's going to be ok.  I've got this."  My head knows that my heart and life are being held in His hands.  My head knows exactly what His word tells me.  The truth.  But my poor soul...my poor, weak, little soul is struggling.

David puts it so accurately when he says "My soul pants for you, God.  My soul thirsts for you."  There is nothing I want more than to feel close to the Lord.  To feel like I did in the days before this season began.  For my soul to be quieted by His love, and His grace.  For my soul to truly understand that despite all the gloominess, that there is always a reason to rejoice.  I have to find my Joy again.  And even though it may feel as if the Lord has left my side, He is right there.  Ready to pour His joy into me.  Ready to take this soul and change it.  So, for now, my soul needs a major pep talk...

Soul, it is going to be ok!

Soul, the Lord will quiet you with singing!

Soul, there is always HOPE!

Soul, a time of rejoicing is coming!

"My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember you (your goodness, your mercy, your love, your sacrifice, your peace)..."  Psalm 42:6

Lord, bring to mind all the things you have done.  All the miracles.  All the healing.  All the beautiful things. All the ways you have rescued me. And let these things bring joy to my soul--even on the hardest of days.

Be Blessed!