God Defines Me...

Hi, friends! I'm going to be honest--I have been struggling with a lot of things internally lately. I am trying to face some battles that I have been overlooking for a long time. I don't even know that I am ready to share my insecurities--but God has laid it on my heart to write it all out. Praying that someone else will gain some encouragement from it. I will start by saying this--I feel like I am failing sometimes. Okay--more like all the time. I look at other people in my life, and it seems like they have got it all together. It seems like they have "perfect marriages" and tons of people who love them. It seems like they are so "good" when I am so "bad." I look at my husband who I'm sure deserves a better wife. I look at my friends who deserve more encouragement and prayer from me. I look at my God who deserves for me to be focused whole heartedly on Him. The list could go on and on...I just feel like I am nothing sometimes. At least that is what Satan wants me to believe. And I must confess, that even though I may put on a happy, confident face, I sometimes end up believing the lies that Satan is throwing my way. God has REALLY been working on my heart lately--in a big way that has required me to realize that I am full of imperfections, but that I am LOVED by Him. I have been reading a book lately called Sacred Influence: How God Uses Wives to Shape the Souls of their Husbands by Gary Thomas (which I would highly recommend for any wife...) and there is one quote that I have been reflecting on for a couple of weeks now. Thomas says "God, not your marital status or the condition of your marriage, defines your life." Now, I took this quote to another level in my head by saying God, not other people, not my husband, not my family, not my mom and dad, not my friends etc. etc., define my life. God defines my life. It is one of those things that I have always "known"--but I am just now really starting to live by it. For so long I have compared myself to other people, in a way that has always made me feel less and never good enough. But the truth is--the only person that should matter is God. By focusing on that, I have felt more love than ever before. The Lord has formed me and knows every intricate part of me--and the 'ole saying "God doesn't make junk" (although humorous) rings true. By focusing on God's love for me, and worrying less about how I compare to other people, my relationship with Him is becoming deeper and more authentic. He is who is shaping me into the person He wants me to become. I'm ready to just throw everything out and say "It's just you and me, God. Make me who you want me to be." I'm so thankful for a God who loves us no matter what. Sorry this is like a book--but I hope that someone will be encouraged by it Be blessed! Jenn

Missed Opportunities...

In reflecting on the last year (or really my whole life, for that matter), I couldn't help but think about all the times I should have acted...but didn't. When I felt that deep conviction to say something, but didn't. When my heart started racing, and my palms sweating--and I just sat frozen. Unwilling to give up a bit of "comfort" to love on someone, whether it was a stranger or my closest friend. What if God gave me an opportunity to completely change someone's day--or life, for that matter--and I selfishly shrugged it off? OUCH. I can honestly say that all the times in my life that I decided to reach out to someone or say something the Lord placed on my heart--I ended up being the one who recieved a huge blessing and often a beautiful lesson of God's love. So, why do we let those opportunities pass when God is so clearly putting us in the path of someone who needs a glimpse of His love? My mom told me a story today about my Daddy, who if you don't know him, is an incredible man of God who I have learned so much from. My mom recently went to the ER because she just wasn't feeling right (She is fine, by the way). My dad took her, and while she was getting checked out, he hung out in the waiting room. A man was brought in, who was fighting lung cancer and it didn't look like he was going to make it. His wife was in the waiting room with my dad. My dad witnessed the doctor come out to tell the man's wife those dreaded words, "We did everything we can--he isn't going to make it." She was all alone, no one there to comfort her, and my dad felt such an urge to do something. He went over to the woman, put his arms around her, and asked if he could pray with her. I am getting so choked up just typing this because my Daddy was Christ to that sweet woman right in the waiting room. He could have just sat by and watched her cry, but he didn't. He followed the Spirit's nudge to show the love of Christ to her. How beautiful is that? I don't want to miss any more opportunities to show the love of God to anyone. I don't want to look back and think, "I should have said something, I should have done something." You never know how God is going to work through you if you give Him the chance... Be Blessed! Jenn

A New Year...

I have been pondering for days about what I would write in this blog. I have not written in months--and to be honest--didn't want to. I am ready to get back at it--and much more often now that I have plenty of free time. Much has happened in the last month in the Raney household. So much and so quickly that I don't even know if everything has had a chance to sink in. I can't even fathom how the Lord orchestrated everything. I am just thankful. David graduated from Physical Therapy school in December. It was such a sweet moment--it was like an end to a really hard couple of years, and a chance at a new start. The Lord answered something I had been praying for and longing for the whole time hubby was in school--that we would be able to move "home" where our family is. David was blessed with an amazing job and we are finally back amongst friends and family and so thrilled to be back with our church family. I wish I could express in words how blessed we feel right now. How amazing it feels to let God do all the work--and plot out the path He has for us. To feel like our hearts and desires are in sync with the Lord's will. So, although 2011 was an incredibly rough year we ended it on such a hopeful note. I am incredibly excited about 2012! And just a side note--maybe someone just really needs to hear this today--but when you are going through a storm, hold tight because God is still working through it. There is hope and sunshine at the end of the storm. It is a lesson that I continue to learn over and over in life. God is good. Period. Be blessed, friends! Jenn