It Is Well...

This morning, the words of  It is Well With My Soul  rolled off of my tongue.  I love that hymn.  I don't think it was a coincidence that God placed those lyrics on my heart. There is one line that hit me like a ton of bricks...one line that I want to be able to sing, and mean it with my whole heart.

Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.

 

If you keep up with me or my blog, you know that David and I have been trying to start our family for a while now.  We faced an early miscarriage. We waited months to even start trying again afterwards.  And now every month that passes without a pregnancy seems to break my heart.  I do everything I can to stay hopeful and positive.  I know what God says about my life in His word.  I know that my intense desire to be a mother does not go unnoticed by the One who made my heart.  But sometimes, I feel like it is never going to happen. And what if it doesn't?  Would it be enough knowing that God's will for my life is perfect? 

 

Right after I found out I was pregnant, and days before losing the pregnancy, I wrote these words in a post. 

"God has patched up a heart that was hurting, and refilled my life with joy--He has renewed my passion for Him--so much that I knew that if He never answered my prayer the way I desired Him to, that I would somehow find peace resting in His hands."

I desperately long to be in that place again.  I could lie and say that my heart fully believes those words that I wrote several months ago, but instead, it's a struggle.  Some days are easier than others.  I am so thankful that God pours His grace over me when I doubt. 

So, for now, I keep praying.  I keep hoping.  I keep asking for forgiveness when I doubt. I keep telling myself that GOD IS ENOUGH.  I keep God's promises on the tip of my tongue.  And I keep singing the words of that old hymn...

It is well with my soul...WHATEVER my lot may be.

Love and Blessings!

A Late Night Blog...

Well, it's 12:46, and my eyes are wide open and my mind is running a million miles an hour. For some of you that may not seem late, but it is way past my bedtime. Good thing I don't have to wake up early tomorrow. 

Since I was up, I figured I would write a blog post about a bunch of random thoughts, since that's the way my mind works so late night, or early in the morning, whatever...so here goes.

• This weather lately is driving me crazy.  My body does not like the whole warm one day, freezing the next thing.  Springtime, I am desperately begging for you to come.  I need some time in the sunshine!

• Life Lesson:  When you are feeling like a loser and life gets tough, don't pull away from the ones who love you.  Those people are the ones who will speak life into you, love on you, and most importantly, make you laugh instead of cry.  More than likely, they love you just the way you are, flaws and all.  And don't forget to return the encouragement :)

• God often answers prayers in ways you really wouldn't expect.  And when you pray for things, expect God to answer.  In the book of James it says "But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord."  Ask, and believe.  It's that simple.

• Be familiar with God's promises for you, and speak them over your life.  Somedays, when I feel like giving up, I recite His promises for me over and over.  The more you say it, the more you believe it.  And the more you fill your mind with those promises, the less room Satan has to plant his lies.

• Choose joy.  And it may be a choice you have to make daily, or by the hour on some days.  A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. -Proverbs 17:22

• I'm starting to exercise again.  It's good for my heart--literally and figuratively.  I am even thinking about running another half marathon towards the end of the year.  My hubby will be training for a full marathon, so there is some motivation right there.  Glad I married someone who enjoys fitness...

• Do you ever believe that God keeps you awake some nights for a reason?  I do. It's a great time to reflect on His goodness, and have a heart to heart conversation with Him.  And sometimes, in the quietness, if you listen, You will hear him speaking to your heart.  Kind of makes not being able to sleep a beautiful thing.

I think that is all for now...

Love and Blessings,