Waking Up...

So, early this morning, about 4:30, my pup Delilah starts whining to go outside to go to the bathroom.  I hear her, but every part of me does not want to get out of my oh so cozy bed.  I was sleeping so good--which happens every once and a blue moon.  I literally roll out of bed and take steps toward the direction of the door, still half asleep. 

And then...BAM!  I slam into the wall.  I missed the door by a good few feet.  It hurt, and my poor nose is not happy with me today.  I quickly woke up, and once the pain wore off, I couldn't help but laugh at  my clumsiness.

Why do I share this embarassing story?

Funny how God can use random, seemingly meaningless moments in our lives to show us something.

I began to think about how in our lives, so often, we stumble through life half asleep.  It is all too easy to approach life with our eyes shut.  Shut so tightly that we don't see the things God intends for us to see: His goodness, His mercy, His grace, His joy, His hope,  HIS plan. We get so used to the everyday, and life seems to become mundane.  And we miss His beauty.

And as we wander aimlessly through life half asleep--we usually get to a place where we just hit the wall.  A place where we are forced into waking up. 

I was walking through my spiritual life half awake.  My relationship with God had become more of a habit that an actual relationship.  And it took a heartbreaking situation for me to be awakened. I am starting to approach life with my eyes wide open.  To see the beauty in the everyday.  To see the little things God uses to show me that He loves me, that I am His.  I don't want to miss out on the joy the Lord has for me, the purpose He has for me.  If it takes "running into a wall--a bruised nose--and a massive headache" for me to wake up to a fulfilling life in Christ, then the pain is worth it.  So worth it.

"Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you."

Be blessed!
Jenn

28 Things...

Today I turn 28. 

Twenty-Eight.

I don't really know how it got here so fast, and I definitely don't feel like I am 28. But as of today I am officially 2 years away from 30 (insert huge sigh).

I can honestly say that my life has played out much differently than I ever could have imagined...but I wouldn't want it any other way. 

To celebrate 28 years of life I thought it would be fun to share 28 random things about me...things I love, things I have learned, things that have made me who I am today.  So, here goes...

28. I have a slight obsession with penguins.  My dream would be to have one as a pet.

27.  My drink of choice will always be a nice, cold Diet Coke.

26. Twenty-two years ago I gave my life to Christ--BEST. DECISION. EVER.

25.  I strongly dislike Winter.

24. I love a good rainy day every now and then.

23.  I have learned over the years the intense love of God--and that He gives it freely, even if I mess up...a lot (and trust me, I mess up a lot).

22. I love to sing.  All the time.

21.  My favorite day is June 27--the day I married my best friend, David. 

20. To have several friends is great, but to have a few friends that know everything about you and still love you--those are priceless.  Lucky for me--I was blessed with those kind of friends :)

19.  In 28 years of life--I cannot think of a single moment that God was not faithful to me.

18.  My sister and I started the Mini Horse Club-- we are up to a handful of members.  Our goal is to own mini horses one day.  Mine's name will be Scooter. hehe.

 

17.  My favorite movie is The Chronicles of Narnia.  I wish Narnia was a real place.

 

16.  I have an insane fear of snakes...

 

15. In case you didn't know--I have the most amazing family in the whole world.

14.  And in case you didn't know--I married into the greatest family ever.

13.  I have learned (and am still learning) that worrying about things is an insane waste of my time.  And I really have no room for fear in my life.  Jesus has me in His hands--and that is all I need to know!

12.  I have seen so many miracles in the last couple of years.  And it stirs up so much hope in my soul.  Here are a few of those miracles...

 

 



 

11. Things I wish I could do:  play piano and guitar, knit, sew and be an amazing baker :)

 

10.  I love my sissy.  We have had our moments, like all siblings do--but she is one of my favorite people on the planet.

 

 

9.  My puppy, Delilah, brings me a ton of joy (most of the time), but she has given me a slight glimpse of what being a parent will be like :)

 

 

8.  My favorite color changes quite frequently.  At the moment it is burnt orange.

 

7.  My favorite day of the week is Thursday.  I don't know why--it just is.

 

6.  Sometimes I wish that instead of getting a degree in Education, I would have been a Marine Biologist or a Zoologist.  Then I could work with penguins.

 

7.  I am addicted to sweets.  Not a good thing.

 

6. David and I eat pizza more than any other food.  Again, not a good thing. 

 

5.  A beautiful, sunny day brings me ultimate joy.  It is usually on those kind of days that I feel like no matter what is going on in my life, that everything is going to be okay.

 

4.  Year 27 of my life was a very hectic year full of a lot of change--readjustments--and blessings.

 

3.  Each year of life brings new outlook to the days ahead.

 

2.   I am sure of  this:  I AM BLESSED!

 

1.  Twenty-eight is going to be an epic year in my life--I just have a good feeling about it.  Here's to trusting in God's guidance and favor over my life.  And believing for things that seem impossible :)

 

 

Be Blessed, dear friends!

Jenn





Relief...

Yesterday afternoon was beautiful.  I sat outside with my sweet pup.  All I could hear were the birds singing their song.  The air was cool.  And I just wanted to soak it all up. 

As I sat there, I began to pray. 

See, the last few weeks I have literally fought to be strong.  No tears, no emotion.  No allowing myself to think about what has happened, what is still happening.  No thinking about the future.  Just numbness.

And as I sat outside yesterday--I began to talk to God.  I talked to Him from a place of hurt and fear.  I talked to Him without trying to be strong.  And the tears began to flow.  But, for once, they weren't even sad tears.  They were almost tears of relief.  Of letting go. 

Lately, it has been hard to pray.  And not because I am angry at God and have no desire to speak with Him, but more because pouring my soul out to Him would only lead to an outburst of pure emotion.  And I just haven't had the strength to go there.

And as I finally allowed myself to go into that place, vulnerable and weak, I felt for the first time that everything was going to be okay.  It is easy to whisper those words--it will be okay--but to truly feel that-what peace that brings! God has already written a beautiful story for my life, and this part of my story is preparing me for something amazing.  I felt excited about the days to come--the new possibilities, the new chapters. 

I am so excited about the day when I will become a mother.  And I know that God will fulfill that desire some day.  But while I am waiting, I plan on soaking up all of who my Savior is.  I plan on living my life in the present, not for the days ahead. I am going to take full advantage of this time I have been given. 

And, friends, I ask you to pray for my physical body.  My hormone levels are still dropping (thank  you , Jesus!), but the doctor has to follow them all the way to zero which means getting pricked for blood tests every week.  Please pray that they get there!  Once they get to zero, we have to wait two months before trying again.  I am just so ready for my body to get back to "normal."  Thanks!

Be blessed, friends!
Jenn